NEED SLEEP NOW?
There is a lot of information in this blog which explains the need for these suggested sleep methods.
This link will take you to
SLEEP NOW ideas
If you are confused by the suggestions which seem to go against what other people, family and friends are suggesting please do come back and read through the material I’ve found.
PLEASE USE LABELS OR ARCHIVE TO NAVIGATEMany posts will have a links to another site with some information that I have found very helpful or interesting.
When we hear a Dharma talk or study a sutra, our only job is to remain open. Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing. If we read or listen with an open mind and an open heart, the rain of the Dharma will penetrate the soil of our consciousness.
While reading or listening, don't work too hard. Be like the earth. When the rain comes, the earth only has to open herself up to the rain. Allow the rain of the Dharma to come in and penetrate the seeds that are buried deep in your consciousness. A teacher cannot give you the truth. The truth is already in you. You only need to open yourself - body, mind, and heart - so that his or her teachings will penetrate your own seeds of understanding and enlightenment. if you let the words enter you, the soil and the seeds will do the rest of the work.
From the book "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching"
By Thich Nhat Hanh
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4 comments:
Hi Megan.
I am a stranger to you but wanted to let you know how much I have enjoyed reading your blog and wish I found it a year ago. You've managed to pull together fabulous information all in one place, plus I enjoy your personal stories as well. Thank you so much for starting this blog. Keep up the good work!
I would like to share my story if that is ok? The challenge with my little guy, now 17 months old, was that he was a VERY hungry baby. And I was determined to only breastfeed. Well catering to a ravenous baby who wants to nurse around the clock was exhausting. He was 90th percentile weight - so I knew he wasn't nutritionally deficient - but he still wanted to nurse all day and all night!
There were times usually in the evening when we were both so frustrated nursing - I had no milk and sore breasts but I didn't want to give him formula - so we both would cry and cry together while I held him in my arms.
I had intense stress about my milk supply and lack of sleep, and definitely projected that stress onto him. One night I was so horribly tired that I told him I hated him and regretted him entering my life. That was the darkest period of my life.
I never let him cry alone but there were many times especially around 2-5 months old when he cried in my arms/sling until he fell asleep. I feel horrible about those days. But I was just so fried and sooo sore. Was I wrong? Would it have been better to give him the formula? I don't know if anyone can answer that question.
So, that brings me to my general question. Have you found any research that says a mother/child relationship can heal after something like this? For example, did your relationship with Ara heal after your early CIO attempt? I would love if you would post something around this topic.
I read all these articles about stress in early infancy and wonder if I have permanently damaged my son in some way...?
Some additional facts - I work out of the house M-F 9-5. We have a fabulous nanny who is nurturing and has never let him cry alone - they co-nap often. I still breastfeed morning and night. We co-sleep most nights after he wakes. He goes to bed most nights peacefully nursing/rocking, ever since that very stressful period around 2-5 months passed.
As a 17 month old, my son is fearless, outgoing, trusting, expressive, fiercely independent. But most striking, he is rather aloof about me in general - he always has been. Honestly, I don't know if his aloofness means he is SO attached that he doesn't feel the need to be clingy - or the exact opposite - that he is too hurt from those early days crying in my arms.
I would love if you had any insight on relationships that endure thru these challenges - tapping into your recovery from your CIO attempt, etc.
Sorry to ramble but I think our stories are similar so I wanted to reach out. Again thank you so much for your blog! You are not alone in your journey of motherhood.
Thank you in advance. I look forward to your future posts!
Thank you for your wonderful comment and yes I should look into this area and will do soon.
As far as I can say as long as we are open, loving and there for our children they will grow in the way that they want to.
As long as we keep looking learning and developing as a parent we can not do anymore.
Most of all we have to learn to enjoy our children and all their specail little bits...even if it is feeding all day long or sleeping with you.
All the best and will do what I can to get a post out on Us in the now after CIO.
Thank you for your response Megan! I look forward to your post on this.
My son appears to be actually very happy. He relishes in every minute of life. He is an explorer and wants to turn over every stone and leaf. I confuse this level of independence with being aloof towards me, because I see other kids being so clingy with their moms. But I think I know the true answer in my heart - that he is simply someone who enjoys exploring life and is happy to spend time alone... kinda like his mother ;)
What an incredible amount of information you've pulled together!
I've just loved reading your blog.
I know that a lot of sleep problems are claimed where the baby's needs and wants just don't mesh with those of their parents.
It's a sad reality of modern life that as mammals we lead complex lives far removed from instincts and natural behavior.
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