NEED SLEEP NOW?

There is a lot of information in this blog which explains the need for these suggested sleep methods.

This link will take you to SLEEP NOW ideas

If you are confused by the suggestions which seem to go against what other people, family and friends are suggesting please do come back and read through the material I’ve found.

PLEASE USE LABELS OR ARCHIVE TO NAVIGATE
Many posts will have a links to another site with some information that I have found very helpful or interesting.

When we hear a Dharma talk or study a sutra, our only job is to remain open. Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing. If we read or listen with an open mind and an open heart, the rain of the Dharma will penetrate the soil of our consciousness.

While reading or listening, don't work too hard. Be like the earth. When the rain comes, the earth only has to open herself up to the rain. Allow the rain of the Dharma to come in and penetrate the seeds that are buried deep in your consciousness. A teacher cannot give you the truth. The truth is already in you. You only need to open yourself - body, mind, and heart - so that his or her teachings will penetrate your own seeds of understanding and enlightenment. if you let the words enter you, the soil and the seeds will do the rest of the work.

From the book "The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching"

By Thich Nhat Hanh

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Damage of Cry it out and Controlled Crying

My interpretation of when people ask "what is the damage of cry it out?" is that they are wanting a scientific one stop answer which is what we would get if we were dealing with something like gravity that is a yes or no answer.
If I drop this apple will it will fall to the ground? Yes.

When we really can not get that single answer when dealing with humans - variation, anomalies and just being plain different .
What we are looking at is statistics, history and common out comes.
Many articles I've been reading are authored by people who feel that there is no damage done to babies by using the cry it out/extinction method.
But I believe they are not looking at the adult product.
By that I mean - How does an adult that has had the extinction or cry it out method used on them in their baby hood function as an adult.
These authors I feel are short sited possibly because the outcome is what we (the authors and the general population) want to see. The extinction method does seem to work (for some) which is probably why it was so heavily used (pushed by originations like Plunket and even shortsighted doctors) in the 30's 40's 50's and 60's.
But this it where science and behavioral science is starting to come in now (well it was back then too but the net was not around then to share its information) and also statistics, research into the human brain as well as the many health issues we (mostly) western peoples seem to be suffering from…obesity, depression, anxiety, panic, fear, anger, frustration, self worth, communication problems…these issues are growing causing more problems for not just the adult but many others around this adult.

Look at a few short bits from
Jan Hunt Naomi Aldort (just because we've forced them to sleep does not mean they have really learnt to sleep well)
Something I've learnt from Jan Naomi and Pam Leo is if you fill a child's need now they will not have that burning need for life. Like that friend of yours that is looking for a life partner but can never find the right one - its all part of it.
But that is looking at the Adult and the dysfunctional problems that they have…what about the child?

"...As the unconnected child gets older, much of his time is spent in misbehavior, and he is on the receiving end of constant reprimands; or he tunes out and seems to live in his own separate world. This child becomes known as sullen, a brat, a whiner, or a spoiled kid. These undesirable behaviors are really coping strategies the child uses in search of a connection. The unconnected child doesn't know how to regain a sense of well-being because he has no yardstick to measure attachment. He has difficulty finding a connection because he isn't sure what he lost…" for the full article see this link

Miss behavior is often thought by many as just a part of childhood or the parents say they have got a problem child…there are many more issues to be named in here.
While I do believe that there are some kids who are genuinely hyped up or have a little silver streak in them I do not believe that the numbers we are seeing today are all due to genetics and misfiring body chemicals.

Please see my post on Emotional Disturbance to explain my ideas in this area.
So while there may not be a firm yes or a firm no in the question does cry it out/extinction or controlled crying do damage to your child there are MANY MANY well educated people and organizations who have been finding links to the way we treat children will be the way they perform for us as parents and the way they perform with others for the rest of their life as adults.

Also see this post on the Hippocampus

1 comments:

krislaroche said...

thanks for doing what you are doing here with this blog.
please add us to your 'good' websites.
www.naturalparentingcenter.com
love
kris